she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
