She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize