I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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