I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize