Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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