I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize