Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
