About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize