I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
