he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
