Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
