Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize