I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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