I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
