am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
