I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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