trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
