Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
