I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
