Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
