I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just google imaged poop.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
