I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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