Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize