omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
