I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think my moral compass just broke
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
