Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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