So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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