so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
