I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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