What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
