YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
