I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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