how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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