I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
