The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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