What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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