your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize