My balls are so social today.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
