And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
