dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
