ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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