Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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