Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
