I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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