laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
