So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
