My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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