Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
