You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
