I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
