just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize