Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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