Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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