I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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