R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize