Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
