just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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