I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
