is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
