I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
