i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
