my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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