if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
