I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
